Dear World,

Erin cried when she saw the positive line on a home pregnancy test around Mardi Gras of 2016.

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We had twin boys under the age of two at the time and although we were happy, we were also constantly exhausted and still navigating our way through parenthood.

Her first pregnancy was planned, granted the announcement of two heartbeats at our fertility center was a surprise in late 2013. I remember being shocked and anxious, but we quickly grew excited about the idea of having twins. This time was different. The months following the positive line took a toll on our relationship. We were often angry with each other and either arguing or failing to communicate with one another.


The day we went in for our scheduled ultrasound around May, I remember sitting in the doctor’s waiting room next to Erin in silence. We were not speaking to each other that morning and only during the ultrasound did we communicate while the doctor was in the room.

She asked if we wanted to know the gender of the baby, we decided to have her write it on a sheet of paper and place inside an envelope. Following the appointment, we drove to Boucherie, a favorite restaurant that we used to walk to frequently when we lived in the surrounding neighborhood before having Grey and Noah. The hostess seated us, and we placed the envelope on the table, opening it right after our waiter brought us our amuse-bouche.

I left the table and walked straight to the bathroom where I began to cry, overwhelmed with joy. After a few minutes, I collected myself and walked back to Erin. She asked if I was okay and with a smile, I responded that I was.

Olivia will be 4 in October. Erin and I are often tired, sometimes angry, generally happy, and very much in love.

Sincerely,

I Cried After The Amuse-Bouche