Dear World,

I lived my life with really low confidence, I don’t even trust myself.

︎

I used to surround myself with many friends. The city I live in isn’t that big; most of the people here know each other. Almost every evening I hang out with some friends, and that’s kinda the thing here.

I have built a good relationship with them and they don’t hesitate to just talk to me about their personal lives, their love stories, or even their family issues.

I like to listen to them, and sometimes I give advice. But also there’s a time when I just sit there and listen. I learned a lot from that and know how to be a good listener.

Things always get better as they told me, I am happy that just by my existence it could help them. But, oftentimes life is just not as good as it was for them, for me.


There was a time when I felt tired, not because I was always listening to my friends, but because of the life I was living. I realized that I had a real issue within myself. I couldn’t talk, even just to write this now, I found it hard.

I rarely talk about myself, I rarely share what I feel or what I am thinking. Not because I don't want to, I just simply don’t know how to. I always think that my problem is not their problem so I shouldn’t bother them with my problem as they already have their own. I don’t think that I matter.

Looking back on my childhood, I am used to being told what to do–whether it’s my parents, my teachers, or even society. I never really talked to my parents about what I feel or think because if something is not right, then I could be blamed. “I told you!” “You never listen!” Those words became a stop button for most of my strides.

I lived my life with really low confidence: I don’t even trust myself. I always put other people first, and I was left exhausted. I always feel bad if I can’t help others, even when I know that it’s out of my capacity. I will blame myself for whatever was wrong, even the quarrels in my parents' marriage.

Since all of that, I just sit and think about it all. I feel like I bring all the weight upon myself. And then I met a person who pushed me so hard to talk about me that eventually I did... And once I did, it felt so great. I felt relief, I felt things were not as hard as I thought.

And now, I share the things happening in my life with friends who care about me. It doesn’t matter if it’s a good or bad story, I just talk to them. I open myself, slowly. I am still not the best, there are still moments that I hold back my words, but I am trying. 



Sincerely,

You Matter

About the Photographer: 

Amir Masoud Soheili is an internationally awarded filmmaker and photographer, Festival director, and programmer. He has been one of the seven most honored Iranian short filmmakers in 2015.Masoud Soheili was born in 1988 in Mashhad, Iran. He studied cinema in Indonesia and South Korea. Just with His second short film "Blue-eyed boy" (2014) he won 20 international awards from more than 140 international film festivals.

He was a member of the juries of the 10th Yogya Netpac Asian Film Festival (2015) , Viddsee Juree awards competition in Indonesia (2016), Avanca International Film Festival in Portugal (2016 and 2018), SAARC Film Festival in Sri Lanka (2017) and International Documentary and Short Film Festival of Kerala in India (2018) and Malatya International Film Festival in Turkey(2018). He is co-founder and creative director of "Asia Peace Film Festival" in Islamabad, Pakistan and programmer of "Changing Perspective Intentional Film Festival" in Istanbul,Turkey.