Dear World,

My mother always taught me that I should have thick skin, so I could remain unscathed by the world.

︎

I saw this as strength and always tried my best to be unemotional. If I let softness and femininity slip out, it meant I was not independent.

As I embraced the ‘strong independent woman’ lifestyle, these became my doctrines:

1. To have purpose in everything I was doing: if it was not productive, what’s the point?
   
2. Love is a distraction and can wait for after I have an established and respectable
   career.
   
3. All of my passions must be career adjacent (ie. pretty clothes and makeup =/= productive).
   
4. Always remain positive.
   
5. To know my worth and not settle for less.

It became a big part of me and it made me proud anytime someone told me I was independent, or strong, or that they knew they didn’t have to take care of me because I would do it for myself. I didn’t realise just how much I cared about my image: young, wild, and career focused.

Then one day I took a journey inward (cue Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds) and after a long day of meditating on my thoughts, I watched the Marvellous Mrs. Maisel. It felt indulgent and silly, and still feels silly as I write this. And then I saw her absolutely smashing her career and achieving all her dreams, all while embodying every stereotype of a soft and feminine woman. And in what felt like a eureka moment, it struck me - I didn’t have to be one or the other.

Sincerely,

I Realized I Could Be Both
Soft & Strong

As I am sharing this, it still feels like my story doesn’t hold weight against the other amazing stories I am sure will come, it’s too silly, too much skin, not serious.
But I’m going to try and fight that instinct today. :)